karla_schi asked:
I am a nanny of a 6yo girl who is very smart, charming and … a drama queen. Her behavior is very bad when the parents are not around- she pretends she is throwing up when we sit for dinner (and that is for mashed potatos and chicken!). She screams all the time, shakes her body/head and turns red, says the food is nasty, spits and hit her sister, doesn’t do anything alone adn wants things NOW. She treats me as her slave to the point of throwing away her school bag and ordering me to pick it up from the floor! Her parents told her she will go back to daycare if she insists in this behavior ( her sister told them what was going on) and she is little better. Now, in front of her parents she hugs me, tells me she loves me! She is really manipulative, egocentric.. The family is very nice, the other kids (older than her) are adorable. I really think this kid has serious problems and I am concerned about her future- and what she will do to her family. How should I handle this?? Thanks!
I am a nanny of a 6yo girl who is very smart, charming and … a drama queen. Her behavior is very bad when the parents are not around- she pretends she is throwing up when we sit for dinner (and that is for mashed potatos and chicken!). She screams all the time, shakes her body/head and turns red, says the food is nasty, spits and hit her sister, doesn’t do anything alone adn wants things NOW. She treats me as her slave to the point of throwing away her school bag and ordering me to pick it up from the floor! Her parents told her she will go back to daycare if she insists in this behavior ( her sister told them what was going on) and she is little better. Now, in front of her parents she hugs me, tells me she loves me! She is really manipulative, egocentric.. The family is very nice, the other kids (older than her) are adorable. I really think this kid has serious problems and I am concerned about her future- and what she will do to her family. How should I handle this?? Thanks!
7 comments
Comment by luisamapacha on August 8, 2009 at 5:49 am
This girl probably needs more time with her parents.
The best thing you can do is ignore her. If she throws her bag on the ground, there it stays. If it’s there when her parents come home, so be it.
By ignoring her, you send the message that you will not put up with her behavior and she will have to answer for herself when her parents come home to see dinner uneaten and homework undone.
Comment by Wounded Duck on August 9, 2009 at 2:52 am
Act like an adult and tell the parents what is going on.
Comment by EvArtD on August 10, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Sounds like you like your job other than this one child’s tantrums. Honestly, I agree. It sounds like the child has some serious problems developing. Personally, short of walking out, I would sit the parents down and ask them how all three of you should handle the problem. It’s not your place to fix it. It’s the parents job. In your shoes I would approach mom and dad with your concerns and ask them how they want you to handle the tantrums.
All three of you need to be on the same page with this child. The parents need to back you when you choose to say no to this child.
My oldest is a lot like this child and developed the problems about the same age. She is now 20 and full blown bi-polar with psychotic tendancies. With her, my mother-in-law thought I was the worst mother on earth, when she got hurt the drama and the screaming would start. I couldn’t find out what was going on until shesettled down enough to tell me, all I could do was get down on the ground by her, in her face and demand that she stop, now! Once she was calmed we figured out she had fallen and was ok. My daughter had to have absolute boundaries in order to function as a child. Once the walls of those boundaries were down for a minute she went batty on me.
Good luck to you. If the parents realize your worth they will do as musch as possible to keep you.
Comment by viento on August 12, 2009 at 11:33 pm
Years ago I worked for a family with two boys that were the biggest hellions that I had ever come across. It took me about three months of caring for them and one day it all clicked. They did not like me and likewise I did not like them but I did love them. Come on, they were children. I was very strict and consistent.
That said, I am now a mother of two and from this perspective I would have to say it depends on the family that you are working with. If you were working with me I would arm you with the tools of discipline that I approve of and back you when you needed to use them. I am guessing that the parents of this little darling haven’t a clue that she doesn’t *** gold. If this is the case, good luck and try a lot of prayer.
If on the other hand they are open to your input, lovingly let them know what is going on. Listen to them as we parents love to talk about our little ones and if when they are through with there input you still feel that there are some better solutions, bring them to the table. Try to come to them with solutions. It does not matter what your job is solutions always please the boss whereas problems rarely do.
Good luck to you.
Comment by rachel on August 14, 2009 at 7:13 am
you need to talk to the parents. You need to be on the same page when is comes to discipline. Sit them down without the kids around and explain that this is happening and you want there advice on how to handle her. It lets them know about her behaviour and when you discipline her it will be to their guidlines which will stop you getting in trouble when you deal with it
Comment by TAB, the avid bibliophile on August 17, 2009 at 12:29 am
Tell her that you are her nanny, not her slave. Your job is to look after her and teach her, not to do everything for her. If she wants to throw away her bag, don’t get it for her; say if you want it, you get it and hold firm.
Comment by amyguesswhat on August 17, 2009 at 10:20 am
I’ve found with kids that the less you react the better. She likes attention, even negative. She thorws away her school bag and demands you pick it up? Just nonchalantly say no, I don’t think I will or something. Don’t over react, she likes messing with you. As soon as she sees that she can’t get to you, she’ll settle down, I’d bet. I used to babysit a boy who was by far the worst child who ever lived. He once hit me on the head with a baseball bat. With all my might, I didn’t react. The more I didn’t freak out at his behavior, the less he did. He never became the portrait of good behavior, mind you, but he definately improved when he saw I wasn’t going to go crazy about what he was up to.