How do I tell my babysitter to not cut my daughter’s hair without upsetting her?
Posted by adminOct 8
The lady that keeps my kids is great and just wonderful to my kids. She really loves them, but today when my husband picked up the kids we noticed that my daughter suddenly had bangs. I don’t like bangs and we have family pictures in a week and her hair looks horrible. I don’t want to upset our babysitter, but I want her to know that I don’t want her to cut my daughter’s hair especially without asking. What do I do?!?
By: Bree H
About the Author:
By: Bree H
About the Author:
30 comments
Comment by Ta-Zu on October 12, 2009 at 8:30 am
Just politely ask her not to cut your child’s hair.
She honestly shouldn’t be upset. It’s not her child. She should have asked you beforehand.
However, are you sure your daughter didn’t do it?
Comment by Rebecca T on October 13, 2009 at 6:54 am
just behonest im sure she will understand but i agree that was kind of rude
Comment by Tracie on October 15, 2009 at 4:59 pm
just tell her straight on.
I would just say it straight instead of having a random lady cut my baby’s hair
Comment by Expecting Momma on October 16, 2009 at 10:50 am
i would explain to the baby sitter that it is definately not her responsibility to cut your daughter’s hair. was there a reason she did this? perhaps your daughter had gotten something all messed up in her hair and she thought it was the only way to get it out? anyway, i do think it is kind of strange to cut a child’s hair that is not their own, especially if she’s already been a great baby sitter in the past
Comment by mysticalsunshine06 on October 18, 2009 at 12:40 am
Easy…ask her in a nice way what made her decide to cut your daughters hair and then let her know that you wished that she hand consulted you first to cut YOUR DAUGHTERS hair…and see what happens from there..and then just let her know that you would prefer that she came to you about things like that when it concerns YOUR daughter..
Comment by tom4bucs on October 18, 2009 at 5:06 pm
I appreciate your efforts to cut her hair, but I have someone who does that for me, and I don’t want to offend them by them thinking I cut her hair.
thank you so much!
Comment by l8ybugn on October 20, 2009 at 8:57 pm
That’s overstepping her bounds! I would look for alternate care.
Comment by little luxuries on October 22, 2009 at 3:12 pm
babysitter, please don’t cut my daughter’s hair!! just like that!! love ya dearly but!!! please don’t cut her hair!
Comment by proguitargod on October 24, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Just tell her politely that you don’t really want your daughter’s hair cut. You and her like it the way it is.
Comment by Rachel on October 27, 2009 at 8:23 pm
nicely say i would have really appreciated it if you would have said something to me about cutting my daughters hair before you actually did it, our family pictures are coming up and i would have rathered her not have bangs for them. i hope you understand and i’m sorry if i’ve offended you in any way
maybe?
i’d be furious if i were you!
Comment by trigger6189 on October 28, 2009 at 3:21 am
tell her she crossed the line. just say it bluntly, please dont do that. im the parent here i decide how my baby’s hair should look. make sure to tell her shes graet with the kids, shell understand, and wont snip again. the same happened to me.
Comment by Tea on October 28, 2009 at 4:39 am
Just ask, rather tell her not to cut your daughters hair. I don’t think she should be insulted at all. She’s a baby sitter, not a beautician. Just tell her politely not to do it again.
Comment by jen on October 29, 2009 at 2:28 am
wow she had no right to do that, not sure what bangs are but she is a babysitter not a hairdresser and has over stepped the line, tell her you aren’t happy with her changing your childrens appearance and would appreciate it if she didnt do so again. if she repeats it after that then its time to find a new babysitter.
Comment by jenmon1122 on November 1, 2009 at 1:11 pm
I don’t think that you need to yell at her but I wouldn’t be concerned with upsetting her. You are her mother and your babysitter has no right to cut your childs hair. I would just simply say before she makes any decisions or changes she needs to consult you first.
Comment by Missy E on November 1, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Tell her its not her job to cut hair and you really dont like the bangs, even if she does,its not her child. and no matter how you approach it you are going to upset her, but think about how she upset you and tell her that she did, and if she flips out maybe you should look fo ra new sitter.
but that sounds like something my grandma would do, lol.
( she always rearranges the house when she comes over )
Comment by # 6 BEAN ON BOARD on November 3, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Gee if that was my kid and someone cut her hair without my permission I would go absolutely mental.
I can’t offer any advice without you being rude to her.
Comment by butterfly on November 3, 2009 at 9:13 pm
Try telling her nicely that you prefer she speak with you first, if she wants to cut her hair. I work at a daycare parents sometimes do say some crazy things but that is totally reasonable. Or tell her that you thought it was thought full of her but you have a salon you go to, and its kind of like a mother daughter bonding thing were you get it done together this way she will not get offended.
Comment by joe_fleeman on November 4, 2009 at 9:40 am
Either keep on being gutless and keep your mouth shut, or let your baby sitter cut your daughter’s hair anyway she likes since she is the one doing your job anyway.
Or you can tell her never to cut her hair again.
Your choice.By the way, what did her dad have to say about it?
Comment by Kris on November 4, 2009 at 3:10 pm
OMG…if anyone took scissors to my daughters hair w/o my ok, I would flip my lid! I think you are being very calm about this, especially the part about not wanting to upset her. Did your husband ask her if she cut it? I can’t see how a major change like that could go unmentioned. I’m sure she’s a great sitter, but she really did cross the line. I would have to find a new sitter if I were you.
Comment by nathansmommy88 on November 5, 2009 at 5:40 am
HA i would fire a baby sitter for that.. they have no right whatsoever to do that
Comment by ccareybfd_14 on November 7, 2009 at 11:13 am
OMG!!!
You have to talk to her….First ask why she did it….It could be your daughter started this or another child…and she repaired what was left????
If she thinks it just would have looked better this way….you may need to sit down with this lady ( i would guess this is more of a family kind of lady to you) and explain that you appreciate her opinion, but would like to make those type of decisions yourself. I am sure this lady will understand the predicament your in.
If this lady gets mad at you it is time to consider other arrangments for childcare…..But really take the time to find out the whole story before going crazy….
I am sure it doesnt look that bad…and be very careful about making a deal out of how much you HATE bangs…your daughter now has them and mabee she likes them….be careful not to make her feel bad about herself….or the way she looks.
Comment by Evelyn quintanar essabilla emily on November 8, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Well, that is your child so she don’t have a right to cut your child’s hair.Tell her straight that you don’t like that she will cut the hair of your daughter and just tell her in a calm way I think she will undertsand you, good luck.
Comment by jstme on November 10, 2009 at 6:08 am
tell her politely.. it may take u awhile to not be upest .. so dont do it right away.. take her to a professional NOW.. u have a week to adjust..
Comment by Lakisha 4 on November 13, 2009 at 5:54 am
put something in her drink and when she passes out, shave her head balk like KOJAK
Comment by LEO rRr on November 15, 2009 at 12:49 am
;-c EXPRESS or EXPLAIN it much like you did here !! Furthermore as you let her know this: Let it be known that you’ve decided that you do’nt want or like for things such as haircuts to take place without the parents OK !!! think of a place that you might’ve like to go !?! But wo’nt or now ca’nt/wo’nt until the hair is back to the way you had it !! maybe you’ll have to wait til some hair grows back !?! Or to a certain length!?! again STRESS that you’d appreciate if said person had gotten your OK first!!.
Comment by luvmy4boyz32 on November 16, 2009 at 11:59 am
actually you should be the one who is upset. I can’t believe she would do that without asking.
I would tell her that you are trying to grow it out and you don’t want anyone to cut it.
Comment by southern_belle1973 on November 17, 2009 at 5:30 am
Did you ask her what happened? Maybe she did it or your daughter did it, either way the babysitter shouldve offered up an explaination when you picked her up.
Comment by mooselings on November 17, 2009 at 11:27 am
I would ask what happened without placing blame first (unless you already know for a fact that she did cut it). It is possible as one persn said that your daughter or another child cut it first and the babysitter tried to fix it so it would look better. If that was the case she should have told you what happened when your husband picked up your daughter. If she was trying to hide what happened it is time to look for a new babysitter!
Comment by cna_from_heaven66762 on November 17, 2009 at 6:13 pm
I think my first instinct would have been to politely knock this individual’s head off!!! If the child isn’t hers then she has no right to do that.
However in her defense…is there ANY way that your daughter could have lopped some off and she was just trying to help?
With that said-I’d just make it clear to her that hair cutting or trimming is OFF LIMITS!
Comment by Sheila on November 18, 2009 at 3:35 pm
I didn’t read through all of the other posts, so I’m sorry if I’m repeating one, but I would first say Thanks so much for trying to help me out and cut her hair, but she/we are trying to grow it out. she/we wants to try it with no bangs for a while. That way the lady wont get defensive or embarrased