If you do any type of shopping for wedding favors these days, you may notice that the “hottest” new items out there include sachets, lip balms, guest soaps, bath salts, and items like these. So what’s wrong with that? What’s the “unfavorable” trend that’s developing in today’s wedding favors? Simply put, these favors are ignoring probably a good half of your wedding guests, namely, the men!

Ask yourself, what man will appreciate receiving a pack of bath salts or lip balm? Probably very few. They may turn around and re-gift these items to some special lady in their life, and you may be thinking that there’s nothing wrong with that, but in reality, there is something wrong with wedding favors that ignore the tastes of half your guests.

The entire purpose of wedding favors is to express your appreciation to your guests for sharing in your special day. While you may think of your wedding as being all about you and your groom, don’t forget that your guests got all dressed up, paid a babysitter, got a gift for you, drove some distance, and sat through a lot of speeches from relatives that they don’t know just to help you celebrate this day.

This doesn’t mean that attending your wedding is some type of chore for them; chances are they’re very happy to do all those things, but expressing your appreciation for their efforts is only appropriate. That’s why you give out wedding favors [http://www.favorsandwraps.com] – to show them that you do appreciate everything they’ve done to make your special day all the more special.

So why ignore half of those guests with a gift that’s not appropriate for them? Certainly you don’t appreciate your male guests any less than the women that attended, so you would do well to find wedding favors that can be appreciated and used by everyone that’s there.

And what’s really disappointing about choosing wedding favors [http://www.favorsandwraps.com] that are so gender specific is that these days, a bride has unlimited options when it comes to favors. There’s really no reason that she can’t find wedding favors that everyone will love.

If you happen to see some wedding favors that you absolutely love and must have, but know are just too “girly” for everyone in attendance, consider purchasing a small amount to give to your bridesmaids and flower girls as a special gift to them. This way you can share these special items but still not alienate half the guests at your wedding!

By: Linda Ellison

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Some parents are turning to Sittercity online to find babysitters while other parents keep an eye on Craigslist postings. When looking at both options, here is what parents found.

Availability and Responsiveness

Craiglist seems to be hit-or-miss most of the time. Sometimes parents had good luck, but others claim that the competition for sitters in their area is so fierce that there is no incentive for these sitters to even return calls.

Sittercity, on the other hand, has a rating system that serves as a great incentive for sitters to respond to your requests (and at least return phone calls) even if they are no longer available for your particular needs.

Price

Some parents found that they could find a less expensive sitter on Craiglist. However, other parents seem to think it was more important to find a great babysitter for their family than a cheap one.

Safety

One of the biggest comforts of Sittercity is the availability of background checks that you do not get from a person on Craigslist. Let’s be honest with ourselves. Not every person is as nice as they seem when you meet them.

While running a elderly companion company that focused on providing in-home care for seniors, I received many great resumes from candidates who seemed kind and were considered for employment. However, after running a required background check, I found abuse allegations and one person who even had assaulted her very own mother! Do you think I now wanted to hire her to care for my older clients? No way!

Due to these issues, the assurance of the background checks serve as a great safety feature and a comfort for you. If you find a sitter on Craiglist, you may want to find a service to run a background check on them as well.

Number of Potential Sitters

The number of sitters listed varies greatly by location. Some large cities have a huge listing of sitters on Craigslist, while other areas have very few choices.

Most parents also found that they had a larger pool of potential candidates regularly listed through Sittercity that were available when they needed a sitter regardless of their location.

It seems both methods can find great babysitters, but depending on your area and needs, Sittercity might make the process a little easier.

By: Beth Howland

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Have you ever considered hiring a “mother’s helper?”

If you have not heard of this sort of help before, I’ll fill you in. A mother’s helper is usually a pre-teen girl who comes over to your house to help out with the kids. She can be an extra set of eyes, ears, and hands to help you during the day – which all moms need! I had two eleven year old girls (best friends) come over for the first couple of months after my second daughter was born. The girls came over after school once a week, and it was a wonderful help to me. While I nursed and cared for my newborn, they had tea parties with my two year old. My older daughter loved playing with her new friends, and looked forward to them coming over each week. It certainly helped us during the transition after the baby was born, and it’s something I highly recommend!

Why hire a mother’s helper?

You are pregnant and need some extra help. Perhaps you’re struggling with morning sickness, or are exhausted that last trimester. Consider hiring a helper to come over and give your older kid(s) the energy you don’t have right now. You just had a baby. It’s great to have someone come and be a playmate for your older kid(s), throw in a load of laundry while you’re nursing the baby, and be another set of hands to help out with the little stuff.  Having your second or third baby can be a rough transition sometimes, and this was something that really helped my family. Your husband is working a lot, and you feel like you’re overstretched. A mother’s helper is going to be able to help you out by giving you a break when it’s just been you and the kids all day. Have her take the kids to the playroom and color for half an hour while you sit down to read a magazine, pay the bills, or make the grocery list. If your husband will be coming home a lot later for a few weeks, have her come over after school and stay until dinner time a few nights each week. This will help during “the witching hour” when you’re busy cooking dinner and the kids are getting antsy. You have multiple kids, and are just feeling exhausted. It’s hard being a mom, and having several kids spaced closely together is tough. I hear moms with older children say how helpful it is to have their older ones help out with the younger ones, but what about when all of your children are little? Sure, it can be done. But if you are able to have a helper a couple of times a week, it may make a huge difference.
What’s the difference between a mother’s helper and a babysitter?

The compensation is different. Because a mother’s helper is usually a pre-teen girl, you don’t need to pay her as much as you would a regular sitter who is older and will be given more responsibilities. It’s a lot different to have a twelve year old come over and help you, rather than having a seventeen come over and take care of the kids the entire evening. They have fewer responsibilities. A mother’s helper is not someone who is going to take care of the kids all afternoon – you’d need an actual babysitter for that. Instead, a mother’s helper is just that – a mother’s helper. If you need to nurse the baby but your toddler is hungry for lunch, she can make them a PBJ. If your younger child needs a diaper change while you’re in the middle of doing a puzzle with the older one, she can take care of that while you keep having quality time with your older child. You are at the house while she’s over. If you want someone to come over while you head out to run errands, call the seventeen year old down the street. A big difference between a mother’s helper and a babysitter is that you stay at the house while the mother’s helper is over.

Some things to consider when hiring a mother’s helper:

Hire someone who lives close by. Ideally, look for someone who lives in your neighborhood or within walking distance. Remember that because they are too young to drive, you’ll have to consider transportation. I worked out an arrangement with the parents of my mother’s helpers’ that if they dropped the girls off, I’d bring them home. Arrange a meeting with the parents and the mother’s helper before anything else. It’s good to meet her parents, make sure she’s good with your kids, and be comfortable with her before scheduling regular visits. Ask around your church, playgroup, or neighborhood to find out if anyone has a pre-teen daughter who’d like to earn some experience watching kids before they start babysitting alone. Be clear about expectations. If you want her to do some light housework (unload the dishwasher, throw in a load of laundry, sweep) then let her – and her parents – know in advance.  Avoiding misunderstandings about her responsibilities will help everyone. This arrangement works well for both parties. Not only do you have help with the kids, but a mother’s helper is getting experience at babysitting without actually having to “babysit.” Parents may be more comfortable with their daughter learning the ropes of babysitting in a supervised setting, rather than having their first babysitting job be entirely on their own.

Having a mother’s helper come over once or twice a week is an option that many of us may not have thought about. I talk to moms who would love to hire a sitter here and there, but they (a) feel guilty for leaving their kids during the day, and (b) don’t want to spend the money. A mother’s helper is a great way to get the assistance you need without having to leave your kids or spend a bundle. Remember, being a mom is a rewarding but challenging job, and having a little help could go a long way.

By: Grace Genda

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Valentine’s Day is here again!   How many of you have got yourself organised?  Have you:

Bought the card?   Put champagne on ice? Booked the restaurant? Got the flowers? Bought the chocolates? Sent the kids to your mothers?

The list is endless…. what about the perfume, the lingerie, the taxi home from the restaurant?  By the time you’ve done all the above, you’re probably in for a bill of around 150GBP (US$214) and that’s assuming you can send the kids to your mother and aren’t having to pay a baby sitter.
 
The current financial situation means that many of us are  watching what we spend and, if we do have any left after paying to keep a roof over our heads, are very thoughtful about where it goes.  
But celebrating Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to cost a fortune. Here are 10 things you could do to have a Beautiful Valentine’s Day on a Budget.
 
Make your own card, that way you can choose your own picture and cheesy message inside! Stay in and cook a romantic meal – if you’re not a cook then have an ‘indoor picnic’ spread a rug out on the floor, put on some romantic music, open the wine (there’s some great sparkling wines and cavas on offer out there) and feast on treats you know your loved one likes. If you’re city based, go to a free museum or art gallery. Buy a postcard of your favourite piece of art in the gift shop and then tell each other over a romantic cup of hot chocolate at home why that picture was your favourite. (You can then keep the cards in your photo album or scrapbook as a reminder of the day) Have a hot, bubbly bath together and then give each other a massage Stay in and watch a movie you both enjoy – it could be a romantic one or not! Buy a cheap cut of meat (or a heap of vegetables) – put them in a big pot in a low oven and leave to cook for a few hours whilst you go out for a long walk. You can then come back to a fantastic meal. Stay snuggled in bed and do crosswords or word puzzles. Make an ‘I Love You Because’ box….. take an empty box, decorate it and inside place lots of little notes each with a reason why you love that person. A gift for Valentine’s Day which will last all year. Get your photo albums out and take a trip down memory lane remembering all the good times you’ve had together. Make love!

Showing someone we love and care for them doesn’t have to cost a fortune. I’d rather have one of these 10 than a wilted bunch of flowers any day.

By: Sharon Langford

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It’s the worst nightmare that parents can ever have: that sweet and efficient nanny who’s been watching their kids while they were at work has actually been physically and verbally abusing them behind their backs. Sadly, the news reminds us that nobody is beyond suspicion. There are cases of children being abused by neighbours, relatives, even parents of friends.

However, very few parents can afford to stay at home all the time. More and more women are deciding to go back to work, and even a full-time mom needs to have ‘me” time away from the kids—even if it’s a day off with friends, or an afternoon to do the groceries without a toddler throwing a tantrum in the middle of the candy aisle.

The best way that parents can protect their children 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and still have a life is to install security cameras as part of their security systems. While they won’t be able to tell you when a potential babysitter is actually a psychopath in disguise, it can alert you as soon as anything out of the ordinary occurs.

Remember, children can’t defend themselves. They may not have the verbal skills to tell you if they’ve been hurt, and even older kids can be frightened into silence. Abusers will tell them that “it’s a secret, and that bad things happen to kids who break secrets” or the deep sense of shame will stop them from opening up. The security cameras, in this case, acts as their guardian and their voice.

The security cameras also provide parents with important evidence to take the abuser to court. Unfortunately, the legal system will favour an abuser in the sense that it is the victim’s burden to prove that something happened. Children are not, by court standards, reliable witnesses. But actual video tapes are irrefutable and will put an abuser behind bars.

Home security cameras won’t just catch the worst possible acts of child violence and abuse, but also irresponsible babysitters who may not be cruel but are far too careless to be given the responsibility of watching your child. You can also catch them if they break rules—like inviting friends over, or using your computer and other personal items—or if they steal money or jewellery the moment you leave the house.

Today’s home security technology allows parents to set up very small cameras in very unobtrusive areas. It’s possible to have a camera imbedded in a smoke detector, a bathroom light fixture, or even an air conditioning vent. Children won’t be able to point them out, and even adults won’t notice that they’re there.

There are many types of security cameras: black and white versus colored, hard-wired versus wireless, not to mention the full spectrum of brands and added features that can radically affect a product’s price range. This means that you’ll always be able to find something that suits your lifestyle, preference or budget— and remember, any security camera (even the most basic) is better than no security camera at all.

By: Philip Nicosia

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The first time parent-to-be has to draw up a very long shopping list and one of the most expensive items on that list will be a pushchair or stroller. Choosing can prove to  be difficult  and time consuming as there are so many types to choose from. In coming to your final decision there are some factors which must be part of your decision making process.

It Must Be Suitable From Birth

Not all pushchairs are suitable from birth  so be sure to check this before buying. It is absolutely essential that the pushchair has a full lie back mode for a newborn.

Where Do You Live And How Do You Travel?

If you live in an urban area where you encounter crowds in your everyday life then a pushchair with articulated steering could be very useful indeed. If you use public transport quite a lot then a pushchair with quick and easy fold down will make life easier. Obviously a more lightweight model would be good in this  situation. 

Do You Love The Great Outdoors?

If you love to take country walks  in your spare time then a pushchair with pneumatic tires will give your little one a more comfortable ride on rugged terrain. 

Do You Want Your Pushchair To Be Multi-Purpose?

Some pushchairs offer great versatility and allow you to change between car seats, carry cots, stroller seats and more. Some allow you to change from rear to forward facing which your child might prefer as they get a little bit older. There is actually a model which can be adapted to take two children should you suddenly find that your family is about to grow again.

Do You Want To Go For A Run With Your Stroller?

For the parent who likes to get out for a run there are now several jogging strollers on the market. No need to wait until you can get a babysitter – just take baby with you.

By: Pauline Gorman

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A foreman is one of the most important jobs in roofing. Every project needs somebody on the roof all day long who has the authority and responsibility to get the job done right. It’s been said that “The dog with two masters will surely starve” and that is why just one man needs to be in charge.

The first prerequisite for the foreman is he should be better and faster than anyone else on the roof. He will certainly be tested regularly by rookies and other hard cases who say something can’t be done. That’s when the foreman has to step up and say “Let me show you how to do it.”

When that happens, it’s not just a training opportunity. It also serves to demonstrate leadership ability, which is the second prerequisite. The crew won’t respect a leader who can’t lead. A foreman should never ask somebody on the crew to do something that he can’t or won’t do himself. He sets the pace and establishes the working standards that apply on his jobsite.

The foreman position is one of the jobs in roofing that needs either a “carrot” or a “stick” to lead effectively.

Some foremen get their way by threats and intimidation, but they tend to have a lot of turnover. Their best workers will pursue other opportunities, leaving the stick-wielding foreman with a crew of weaklings he can bully.

I’ve always preferred the carrot approach. It utilizes “The Greatest Management Principle” as recognized by author Michael LeBoeuf. It says: “That which gets rewarded, gets done”. By giving your crew an incentive to accomplish both the quantity and quality you want, it is infinitely easier for you to do your job effectively. You go from being a babysitter of grown adults who undermine your efforts to a partner in a hardworking crew of guys who are all on the same page.

I’ve gotten great results from even labor pool employees who are considered the “bottom of the barrel” and only suitable for the most menial jobs in roofing. By offering them a modest bonus for accomplishing what I need, I am seldom disappointed.

The size of a project often determines how a foreman must do his job. Most smaller projects have a “working foreman” who manages the work while roofing right alongside the crew.

Bigger projects with dozens of roofers generally do best with a “supervising foreman” who is constantly watching everything that is going on. He needs to think for those on his crew who lack experience. And he will do far more work with his eyes than with his back.

One of the most important jobs in roofing that the foreman needs to accomplish every day is to get all his guys home safe and sound. Nobody will care how much roofing you accomplish if somebody gets killed or crippled in the process.

While roofing and leadership skills are essential, it is becoming increasingly useful for foremen to be bilingual. With a heavy influx of Hispanic workers into the trade, a foreman who can keep his project from turning into a “Tower of Babel” is a valuable asset to any company.

It doesn’t take a lot of Spanish to get by. I remember one time I dried in a couple hundred squares of roof with two Mexican kids who had no roofing experience and spoke no English whatsoever. About the only Spanish I knew was “Bueno” and “No Bueno”, but that was enough to get the job done. That just goes to show you what a good foreman can do with a little help.

By: John C. Bishop

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Question: I have my bank accounts (CD’s Savings etc) in the __________ Revocable Trust. My self and my friend are trustees. If I die, does the Trust “disappear” and are my accounts automatically distributed to the surviving trustee or will the trust as a taxable entity still exist? M.N.

Answer: Dear M.N. – The short answer to your question is, it depends upon what the trust instrument says.

Unfortunately, we often get caught up in the legal ramifications of a trust and lose track of the fact that it is nothing more than someone holding your property for the benefit of someone else.

The relationship you create with a trustee is very much the same as the relationship you create with a babysitter. For example, if you’re going out for the evening, you might give your babysitter $50 to take your kids to a movie and buy them some treats. In so doing, you’ve created a trust. You are the creator or “grantor” of the trust, your babysitter is the trustee, and your kids are the beneficiaries. Although this type of trust is of short duration (maybe just a few hours) and consists of an oral agreement with your babysitter – or, at best, a short note attached to the refrigerator, we all know that the $50 doesn’t belong to the babysitter. The babysitter is simply holding it for the benefit of your kids as you instructed. In fact, you probably told the babysitter what movie to take the kids to and what refreshments the kids could have. If you’re like most parents, you probably left some pretty detailed instructions as to what the babysitter could or could not do with the $50.

While we understand the babysitter relationship very well, we often fail to understand the same basic relationships when we’re talking about estate planning and the use of a revocable living trust. Perhaps it’s the legal terminology, or maybe it’s the fact that we’re talking about a subject that we’d just as soon avoid. Whatever it is, we often fail to recognize that a trust is nothing more than a note to our babysitter – only this time we’re not talking about giving someone a few bucks to entertain the kids for the evening, we’re talking about giving someone all of our property for the benefit of our loved ones after we’re gone. It’s basically the same – just more permanent!

That being the case, there is absolutely no reason why anyone with a trust (or a will for that matter) doesn’t know exactly what the trust (or the will) says. It’s your note to your babysitter. You’re the boss! The trustee is simply carrying out your instructions. However, since you’re not likely to be around when the trustee has to carry out his instructions, you should provide as much detail as possible in your trust instrument. As for the trust, it will continue for as long as the trustee is holding any of your property. As soon as it’s all distributed to your beneficiaries, the trust will end because your trustee’s job is over. If your beneficiaries are older, that might be just a few months after your death. If your beneficiaries are younger and you want your trustee to hold your property until they get older, then the trust might last for any number of years after your death.

So, M.N., the first thing you need to do is take a close look at your trust instrument to see what it says. That’s your note to your babysitter. Don’t get bogged down by all the legalease – go right to the part that talks about your property and how it will be distributed upon your incapacity or death. That part should be straightforward and understandable. If you don’t like what it says or if you want to say something different, then you need to change it. At the very least, you have to understand what it says and you have to agree with it.

Finally, remember that you’re creating a trust. It’s called a trust because you’re “trusting” someone to hold and manage and distribute your property according to your wishes when you can’t do it on your own. But, as we all know, “trust” only goes so far. For that reason, we also need to insure that our relationship with our trustee will have the full support of the law. After all, we’re not going to be around to enforce the agreement if the trustee goes astray. That’s where good estate planning attorneys can help. They’ve been there, they’ve done that, and they know how to prevent those things from happening. Yes, it will cost a few bucks to have an attorney cross the i’s and dot the t’s – and you might not know why or wherefore. But, you should bite the bullet and get it done. You may not sleep any better, but your loved ones will!

By: Michael Pancheri

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As with most brides-to-be you’re likely to have a vision in your mind of how you picture your wedding day to be, often down to every little detail. Part of that beautiful vision probably does not include children running wildly through your wedding reception. The difficulty comes about if there are children close to you as a couple, either through family or friends. What’s a happy couple to do when it comes to the inclusion of children in a wedding? There are some rather simple but effective dos and don’ts when it comes to having children at your wedding.

Do Make Your Intentions Clear

If you do not want children at your wedding, be sure to clearly communicate this from the very beginning. Including the phrase “Adults Only” on the invitation is a great start, and most people will take this as a hint. If it comes up in discussion, especially with any out-of-town guests or even pushy family, be prepared with a cordial but honest response. Let families know that you are having an “adults only” reception and you would appreciate their cooperation.

If you are open to having children at your wedding, be sure that the invitation is addressed to the entire family. If you have out-of-town guests coming in for your wedding, work with them on any special arrangements that they may need for their children and offer suggestions on local resources that may be of interest.

Don’t Let the Kids Run the Day

It’s inevitable that kids want to run free when they see a dance floor and inevitably won’t want to sit still during your vows. Though this is really the responsibility of the parents, it can be quite helpful to them and take the stress off of you if you make some special arrangements. Coordinate a babysitter or somebody to oversee the kids at the ceremony so that parents can sit through it in peace. Have a special space or room designated to the parents that may need to step out with their little ones.

Do Make the Meal Enjoyable

Let’s face it; most kids aren’t going to want to chow down on a filet. Not only that, but you would hate to pay for a big entree that will only have two bites taken out of. Arrange for special children meals to be served at the reception and make them fun! Work with the reception venue ahead of time and be sure to provide enough meals for all of the kids that are attending.

Don’t Let Any Meltdowns or Hurt Feelings Ruin Your Special Day

Kids will be kids, and the one constant is that they are unpredictable. Make any special arrangements that you can to take the focus off of the kids and make the parent’s job easier, but don’t let any crazy meltdowns or crying fits ruin your special day. If kids are there you just have to know that there is potential for some kid behavior and roll with it. Most parents will be right on top of this and you may not even realize it happened.

Alternatively don’t feel bad if you want an “adults only” wedding. This is your special day and you are entitled to do things your way. Be realistic in knowing that you may have some guests that can’t attend due to a lack of a babysitter, but those close to you will make every effort possible. Don’t let it get to you if you choose to enjoy your wedding without little ones underfoot, everybody has their day and can do things the way that make them happy.

By: Melanie Gilmour

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In today’s society, it can be difficult for a mom to find the time to breast feed her child. Or it may simply be inconvenient because of being out in public. In these circumstances, many women choose to use expressed breast milk. Expressing is the act of mechanically squeezing milk from the breast and storing it in a bottle. The expressing is normally done using a pump. Expressed milk also comes in handy if the mom cannot be around and has to leave her baby in the care of a baby sitter, nanny, or her husband.

Expressed milk can remain good for quite a while if stored correctly. There are plastic bottles and bags made especially for holding and storing this milk. The milk can be placed in the freezer and refrigerator to extend it’s shelf life. It is true that expressed milk stored in the freezer will lose some of it’s nutrients, antibodies, and enzymes, much the same as any other food. But even so, unless you are sick, it will most likely still be healthier for your child than any formula that you purchase from the store.

To test if expressed milk is good, simply smell it. As long as it doesn’t smell bad, it’s probably still good. You should be able to store expressed milk at room temperature for up to six or eight hours with no ill effects from it.

Sometimes babies that have been used to breastfeeding have difficulty learning to suckle milk from a bottle. In these cases, the probable culprit is that sucking from a bottle requires a slightly different set of mouth motions than sucking from a breast. So the baby has to learn new eating habits, which most infants are reluctant to do after about 4 weeks. Now, nearly all babies will be bottle fed at some time or other. So to avoid or lessen problems later, it’s probably best to at least introduce a child to a bottle a few times in the first 4 weeks or so. This way it’s not a foreign experience to her when you try to get her to suckle from a bottle at a later time.

When choosing a baby bottle in which to store milk, you will typically have a choice between the 4 ounce and 8 ounce sizes. You can probably count on using both sizes at some point or other, so you may as well get one or more quantities of both sizes. You can also choose to buy permanent bottles or disposable ones. One of the most important features to look for in a feeding bottle is one with anti-gas properties. Anti-gas features can do a lot towards preventing your child from sucking in air with her milk which can cause cramps and other discomforts.

Normally, when breastfeeding her child, the woman should sit in a near upright position, leaning slightly backwards. This decreases the chance of the baby swallowing air. It’s also a very comfortable position for the woman, enabling her to hold the child firmly while she wraps the baby around her.

By: Jill Viland

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