Have you ever considered hiring a “mother’s helper?”

If you have not heard of this sort of help before, I’ll fill you in. A mother’s helper is usually a pre-teen girl who comes over to your house to help out with the kids. She can be an extra set of eyes, ears, and hands to help you during the day – which all moms need! I had two eleven year old girls (best friends) come over for the first couple of months after my second daughter was born. The girls came over after school once a week, and it was a wonderful help to me. While I nursed and cared for my newborn, they had tea parties with my two year old. My older daughter loved playing with her new friends, and looked forward to them coming over each week. It certainly helped us during the transition after the baby was born, and it’s something I highly recommend!

Why hire a mother’s helper?

You are pregnant and need some extra help. Perhaps you’re struggling with morning sickness, or are exhausted that last trimester. Consider hiring a helper to come over and give your older kid(s) the energy you don’t have right now. You just had a baby. It’s great to have someone come and be a playmate for your older kid(s), throw in a load of laundry while you’re nursing the baby, and be another set of hands to help out with the little stuff.  Having your second or third baby can be a rough transition sometimes, and this was something that really helped my family. Your husband is working a lot, and you feel like you’re overstretched. A mother’s helper is going to be able to help you out by giving you a break when it’s just been you and the kids all day. Have her take the kids to the playroom and color for half an hour while you sit down to read a magazine, pay the bills, or make the grocery list. If your husband will be coming home a lot later for a few weeks, have her come over after school and stay until dinner time a few nights each week. This will help during “the witching hour” when you’re busy cooking dinner and the kids are getting antsy. You have multiple kids, and are just feeling exhausted. It’s hard being a mom, and having several kids spaced closely together is tough. I hear moms with older children say how helpful it is to have their older ones help out with the younger ones, but what about when all of your children are little? Sure, it can be done. But if you are able to have a helper a couple of times a week, it may make a huge difference.
What’s the difference between a mother’s helper and a babysitter?

The compensation is different. Because a mother’s helper is usually a pre-teen girl, you don’t need to pay her as much as you would a regular sitter who is older and will be given more responsibilities. It’s a lot different to have a twelve year old come over and help you, rather than having a seventeen come over and take care of the kids the entire evening. They have fewer responsibilities. A mother’s helper is not someone who is going to take care of the kids all afternoon – you’d need an actual babysitter for that. Instead, a mother’s helper is just that – a mother’s helper. If you need to nurse the baby but your toddler is hungry for lunch, she can make them a PBJ. If your younger child needs a diaper change while you’re in the middle of doing a puzzle with the older one, she can take care of that while you keep having quality time with your older child. You are at the house while she’s over. If you want someone to come over while you head out to run errands, call the seventeen year old down the street. A big difference between a mother’s helper and a babysitter is that you stay at the house while the mother’s helper is over.

Some things to consider when hiring a mother’s helper:

Hire someone who lives close by. Ideally, look for someone who lives in your neighborhood or within walking distance. Remember that because they are too young to drive, you’ll have to consider transportation. I worked out an arrangement with the parents of my mother’s helpers’ that if they dropped the girls off, I’d bring them home. Arrange a meeting with the parents and the mother’s helper before anything else. It’s good to meet her parents, make sure she’s good with your kids, and be comfortable with her before scheduling regular visits. Ask around your church, playgroup, or neighborhood to find out if anyone has a pre-teen daughter who’d like to earn some experience watching kids before they start babysitting alone. Be clear about expectations. If you want her to do some light housework (unload the dishwasher, throw in a load of laundry, sweep) then let her – and her parents – know in advance.  Avoiding misunderstandings about her responsibilities will help everyone. This arrangement works well for both parties. Not only do you have help with the kids, but a mother’s helper is getting experience at babysitting without actually having to “babysit.” Parents may be more comfortable with their daughter learning the ropes of babysitting in a supervised setting, rather than having their first babysitting job be entirely on their own.

Having a mother’s helper come over once or twice a week is an option that many of us may not have thought about. I talk to moms who would love to hire a sitter here and there, but they (a) feel guilty for leaving their kids during the day, and (b) don’t want to spend the money. A mother’s helper is a great way to get the assistance you need without having to leave your kids or spend a bundle. Remember, being a mom is a rewarding but challenging job, and having a little help could go a long way.

By: Grace Genda

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