One of the most common children problems that parents face is having a whining child. If you have a child who simply cannot stop whining and you want to teach him to request for things in a more proper way, below are 6 tips to help you.

1. Focus your attention on your child
Very often busy parents do not spend enough time listening to their kids and indirectly encourage their children’s whining habit because they were trying to catch your attention.

If you want to stop the whining, you should stop whatever you are doing at that moment and focus your attention on what your child has to say. Encourage them to explain clearly to you what they want.

2. Teach the correct way
Sometimes your child may not be aware that he is whining or the correct way of asking for something. You can address the problem by telling your child that he does not have to whine to ask for something. Teach him the correct way of requesting for things. So instead of whining when he wants to drink milk, teach your child to say, “Mummy, can I have some milk please.”

Do not expect your child to learn the correct way overnight. Be patient and repeat the correct way each time he does it wrongly. You may even give subtle hints such as raising an eyebrow or pretending not to understand him and ask him to repeat what he wants in a more proper way.

3. Positive re-enforcement
Rather than reprimanding your child when he whines, look out for occasions when he remembers to ask for things in the correct manner and praise him for it. If he has taken the effort to remember it on his own, he deserves some form of recognition, so you should praise and encourage him.

That said, you will really need to comply with his request if he has asked in the correct way but what if the request is not reasonable? For instance, he asked for chocolates when dinner is only a few minutes away. Instead of rejecting him even though he has asked correctly, give him just a small amount so that his appetite will not be affected and focus on complimenting him for remembering to ask in the correct way.

4. Lots of repetition
Your child is well aware that he can get his way if he whines so you have to be consistent and refuse his request unless he asks in the proper way. Repeat what he should say and get him to say it before you comply to his request.

5. Be firm
If you have a very head strong child, he may refuse to abide by your method at the beginning. When that happens, you will have to show him the negative consequences he will receive unless he asks properly. For example, you can tell him that the chocolates will have to return to the refrigerator for ten minutes unless he can ask you in the correct way. Of course, if you mentioned your threat then you will have to carry out your threat. Your child has to learn that you mean what you said and he will learn not to whine.

6. Issue Time-Out
If your child becomes unreasonable or aggressive when you refused to give him what he wants, you may need to give him a time-out period. You can place him on a mat or at a corner of the room and let him stay there till he had calmed down. After the 3 to 5 minutes of time-out, you will have to explain to him what he had done wrong and teach him the correct way of asking again. Get him to repeat after you to ensure that he understands what you want.

Whichever method you choose to use, the ultimate point to remember is that you have to keep your cool. There is no way you can solve any children problems if you allow your anger to take over. No amount of screaming and shouting from both you and your child is going to solve any problem. It will only destroy the bond between you.

By: Stella Mak

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