It seems hiring male nannies, or “mannies,” has become a trend. Many celebrities have done it: Madonna, Gwyneth Paltrow, Britney Spears, Keeley Hawes, and there’s been a considerable downfall in reluctance to hire men to care for children in the past decade.

Mannies have been cropping up in TV and film for years. Tony Danza revolutionized the position of household manager in “Who’s the Boss?” in 1984; that same year “Charles in Charge,” a similar show with Scott Baio as the manny, debuted. In 1993, Mr. Nanny, starring Hulk Hogan, hit theaters. In 2002, Jon Bon Jovi played not only Ally McBeal’s love interest on the show, but her daughter’s nanny. That same year Freddie Prinze Jr. guest-starred on “Friends,” playing the episode’s titular character in “The One With the Male Nanny.” This year, “Melissa and Joey,” in which Joey Lawrence stars opposite Melissa Joan Hart as her manny, started its first season.

The presence of male nannies in pop culture was, for a long time, done only for the novelty and the laughs, but over the years it was played up as sociopolitical commentary. In the “Friends” episode, for instance, Ross is wholly against having a male nanny, while Rachel is thrilled with the manny — a reflection of how the trend was becoming increasingly accepted among women but met with reluctance from men.

Even now, mannies tend to be hired more by single mothers with at least one son. As a single mother of twin boys pointed out in a 2002 TIME article, “it was a neat idea to have a positive male influence around for the boys.” The families with both a mother and father present that hire mannies often do so because the mother doesn’t want a competing female figure around all the time. On the same token, fathers in such situations have to contend with the same feeling of territorialism.

All that said, let’s take a look at some of the potential pros and cons of hiring a manny to care for your children:

Pros:

-As mentioned before, having a male nanny is a good way to have a positive male influence for your children, especially if you’re a single mother or if the kids’ father is away often. However, even if the father is present, a manny could serve as an older brother figure, especially to an only child.

-Males tend to be more active than females in terms of the way they play; a manny will encourage the kids to be as well, providing a chance for them to exercise, as well as tucker them out so they sleep well at night.

-There’s a good chance that a male nanny will work harder than a female nanny, simply because he’ll feel he has more to prove because of still-lingering stigma against mannies.

Cons:

-Men can come off as more intimidating, which means a manny might not be suitable if you have only or mostly daughters. This is true, also, of boys who are sensitive. (On this same note, a manny would probably be ideal for tomboys.)

-There are fewer males nannies than female; if you have your heart set on a manny, you might have trouble finding one.

Take these pros and cons into careful consideration when deciding what sort of nanny you want to hire, but bear in mind that gender shouldn’t actually be such a large factor. What should really matter is that whomever becomes your household manager has a personality that meshes well with you and your children.



By: Mark Etinger


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